Uncle Dennis

 R. Dennis Ashton

1945 ~ 2012
Dennis Ashton, a quiet man, a fierce warrior, left this life in triumph. He was an extraordinary husband, father, grandfather, brother and doctor.
We are sad because it's over, but we smile because he lived.
He is survived by his wife, Joan, his daughters Erin (Dave) Gubler and Brodi (Sam Johnson) Ashton, his grandkids Abram, Josh, Necie, Asher, Carter and Beckham, his brothers David (Sandy) Ashton, Ron (Vicki) Ashton, Jon (Pat) Ashton, sisters Kathy (Brent) Harper, Jane (Kent) Norton. He was preceded in death by his parents Reed and Emma Lucy Ashton, and Bernice "Yaya" Dorrity Jacobson.
A viewing will be held Monday, April 30, 2012 from 6-8 p.m. at Wasatch Lawn Mortuary (3401 South Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, UT, 84106). Funeral services will be held at 11:00 a.m. on Tuesday, May 1st, 2012 at the Holladay 25th Ward Building located at 4650 Naniloa Drive, Salt Lake City, UT, 84117. Family and friends may visit beginning at 9:30.
Thank you to the angels at the Huntsman Cancer Institute

My cousin Brodi, my Aunt Joanie, and my cousin Erin

My uncle Dennis was the 2nd of my Grandparents' children.  He is the first to be reunited with them.  Brodi refers to the past 4 1/2 years as "the bonus years" because that was when he was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.  Survival rate was only a 5% chance.  He was told he would have only 6 months to a year.  But he "fought and fought with spiritual brass knuckles." And it wasn't even the cancer that did it.  Not really.  (It was a perforated bowel)  So we say, He DID beat cancer.

Sam and Dave

Dad did as much as he could to help out when he heard.  He cut his trip to Saint Louis short (but unfortunately couldn't make it back in time to say goodbye) and went right to work collecting, scanning, and creating a 25 minute slideshow of hundreds of Denny's pictures to show at the services.  He did a fantastic job, and Joanie and the girls couldn't express to him their gratitude for such a gift.  Dad also gave the Family Prayer at the closing of the casket and was a Pallbearer.

Kathy and Brent, Ron and Vicki, Joanie, Dave, Mom and Dad, Janie

I usually don't like to go to viewings.  I don't like looking at empty bodies.  It's not that it's too creepy or anything, it's just that they never seem to look like themselves, and I don't like my last memory of a person to be so... off.  But I decided to go anyway to show my support.  And I'm glad I did.  He looked good.   I don't know why or how exactly, but to me he looked like himself.  Just taking a nap.  So that part wasn't bad at all.  But it was seeing my Aunt and cousins and their children that was hard.

I didn't like being so close when Denny's grandchildren came to say goodbye.  It was so heart-wrenching.  I am so grateful to have been 2 days shy of becoming an adult before my first grandparent passed away.  These are all just kids.

And when I hugged my cousins and Aunt, the hot tears just took on a mind of their own.  I always thought that going to a viewing or a funeral was not only to get some closure, but to be there for the remaining family.  After this experience, I couldn't help but feel it was the other way around.  I was the uncontrollable sap and they were comforting ME.  It made me feel like I was doing it all wrong, and I felt bad.  Here these girls were being so strong and talking to every single person (and there were a LOT) and I wanted to be strong for THEM.  But it seemed to work out the other way around.  They were the comforters.  I don't know how they did it.

The funeral was exactly the same. Everywhere I turned there were wet eyes and somber faces.  But when the girls got up to speak, no joke, it was like a comedy routine.  But a respectful one, of course.  They had everyone smiling and laughing and really celebrating the man that he was.  It was not sad at all, it was joyous.

There was one point during the service (I had to laugh) where Brodi's son, Beckham, (who has autism) was standing up at the front of the chapel, directly in front of Dennis' casket.  He started playing Angry Birds.  No, I don't mean on an iPhone or even an iPad.  I mean he had a couple of the angry bird pillows and was chucking them from one end of the casket to the other while making crashing sounds at the appropriate moment.  He would then run over to retrieve them and then go back and do it again.  I couldn't help but smile when I pictured my Uncle Dennis watching his grandson play Angry Birds at his funeral.  Right up there next to the casket.  I bet he got a kick out of that. :)

They also had a portion of the service where Erin's husband Dave, read a bunch of memories that people had posted about Uncle Dennis on facebook.  A lot of them were doctor-related.  How he would always look for lions in the kids' ears, how he called the kids troopers, and how much he was loved and respected.  Uncle Dennis was my pediatrician for MY first few years of life, and he was my children's doctor too.  And even though we got a new doctor that is supposedly "super-awesome, and has a waiting list," he is nothing compared to Uncle Dennis.

Even my good friend Jamey who used to take her kids to see Dennis and now also goes to the same new Dr. as me, has mentioned that it's really not the same.  This new place is all fancy with it's brightly painted, Disney-themed rooms, and has small looney tunes gowns for the kids to change into.  But it doesn't make up for, or even compare to what Uncle Dennis offered.

Denny was laid to rest in the same cemetery as his parents.  After the burial we went and visited my grandma and grandpa's grave.

I remembered how at my Grandma's funeral 4.5 years ago, we were told about Dennis' diagnosis and prognosis.  We started a family fast for him that very day, right after eating funeral potatoes.

Kare and her family were able to make it for the services, and then stayed to visit for a week.  Alli was still on her mission, and Jules and her family were unable to attend.

This is my uncle Ron and Aunt Vicki.  We were lucky to have Uncle Dennis as our doctor, and we're also lucky to have Uncle Ron as our dentist.

I love Dad's little smirk he's got goin' on here.  Such a goof!

Here's Kare playing with the boys... tightrope walking?

It was nice to see family at such a wonderful sendoff.  Uncle Dennis was an amazing guy and I'm glad I was able to be there to celebrate his life.