Sister Ashton's Farewell

I'm writing such a long and detailed post for a few reasons:

1. Neither Charles, nor I wrote about HIS farewell, and now we can barely remember it even happened.
2. Alli is such a good example to my boys about being a missionary and I want them to always remember her and the special events that they got to be a part of.
3. I know my other sisters who couldn't come out for her farewell will appreciate reading this.
4. Alli challenged us to talk openly about where she is and what she is doing. Kind of an unusual request when it comes to Alli, but she wants us to not feel embarrassed to tell others about her being a missionary... so this is how I can share... I blog.

My youngest sister, Alli, left on her mission today. Mom and Dad dropped her off at the Missionary Training Center at 12:45. When Charles left on his mission, I got to go inside with him and sit and listen to a video and someone speak before parting ways. When I took my friend Jessica to the MTC, they stopped allowing people to accompany the missionaries inside the MTC. I had to drop her off at a church parking lot where she was bussed to the Training Center. And now it's just curbside drop off. Maybe it's better that way? I don't know. I wasn't there.

Anyway, let's back up a few days to Alli's actual farewell. She gave a talk in church the Sunday before she left. Mom and Dad invited all their siblings and spouses, and some of our cousins and Alli's friends came too. Some Lancaster friends included David and Emily Collins, Brent Noriega and Troy Lieshman. There may have been others, but that's all I recognized. She also had some BYU buddies there as well. It was a full house. Alli wasn't a fan. She was nervous because she hadn't given a talk since High School. But you know what? You really wouldn't have known it. She gave a beautiful and witty speech. Everyone kept commenting on how much they love her dry sense of humor.

I don't remember all of her talk, but I'll write what I can. She started out by thanking all of her family and friends for coming to support her today and who will continue to support her throughout her mission. She apologized to the Aaronic priesthood for making them work so hard to pass the sacrament, that the big crowd was her fault. She started to get teary. She said that she had practiced her talk a million times, and never once did she cry. She kept going but was getting more and more choked up. So she stopped to wipe her eyes and kind of whispered to herself (but also into the microphone) "This. Is. Ridiculous!" It gave us all a heartfelt laugh.

She decided to tell everyone how she came to her decision to serve a mission. She said that she always wanted to, but that there were 2 things that may make it an impossibility for her.

First, her severe homesickness. She humored us with a few anecdotes. Like turning down her friends' offers for sleepovers because she didn't want to be away from her Mommy for so long. Or calling her Mom in the middle of a sleepover to come pick her up. Or faking a knee injury at a UCLA soccer camp so she wouldn't have to stay the whole week. Or flying to Baltimore for a school trip and then asking them to book her a flight right back. (Which they did.) Or how the only way she thought she could go away to college was if her mom and dad moved to Utah with her. (Which happened to be the case.) [Lots of laughs came from this first reason.] She said that she just always needs her mom. Even when living in Provo, it was hard to go even a single day without at least talking to her on the phone.

Second, she was going to BYU. And don't girls at BYU meet their eternal companion the first month of school, get married by the second semester, and have a baby their Sophomore year? Alli said, "But this ended up not being the case for me. Not even close." [More laughs.]

She said that when she graduated from college, she had a hard time finding a teaching job in this economy. She prayed that she would find a job. Well she found one, but it was less than ideal. So she started a graduate program at the same time. She was unhappy with her situation. The thought of serving a mission had been creeping in her mind, but she felt like she would be ungrateful for the blessings she had been given, if she just gave it all up. She said her own family had experienced job loss because of the economy, and that she just trying to be grateful for what she had. But even still, she was unhappy and the thought of serving a mission was still there.

So she decided that since General Conference was coming up (October 2nd), she would listen to conference with a prayer and question in her mind. "Should I serve a mission? Would I be ABLE to serve a mission?" She said that at the opening of the very first session on the first day of conference, Pres. Monson answered her question and prayer. He wasn't giving a talk, he was just opening the conference, welcoming everyone and reporting about new temples. But he also shared something out of the blue. Alli quoted these words in her talk:

"Now, before we hear from our speakers this morning, may I mention a matter close to my heart and which deserves our serious attention. I speak of missionary work.

First, to young men of the Aaronic Priesthood and to you young men who are becoming elders: I repeat what prophets have long taught—that every worthy, able young man should prepare to serve a mission. Missionary service is a priesthood duty—an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much. Young men, I admonish you to prepare for service as a missionary. Keep yourselves clean and pure and worthy to represent the Lord. Maintain your health and strength. Study the scriptures. Where such is available, participate in seminary or institute. Familiarize yourself with the missionary handbook Preach My Gospel.

A word to you young sisters: while you do not have the same priesthood responsibility as do the young men to serve as full-time missionaries, you also make a valuable contribution as missionaries, and we welcome your service."

Alli said that just as others may have felt like this, she felt that he was speaking directly to her. She felt that this was her answer, in no clearer words. At that moment, she knew it was what she should do and that yes, she will be able to do it. She felt such peace and reassurance. She said that since that day of Conference, she has heard that quote from Pres. Monson about 5 or 6 times. In sacrament meeting, in relief society, in Sunday School, in missionary prep class, when she was home taught and visit taught. Each time it reaffirmed her decision.

After the first session was over, she decided she needed to prepare Mom for what she was about to tell her. She said that in the past, she had brought up serving a mission, but that the idea was usually coupled with the idea of joining the army, or quitting school to become a bum. [More laughs.] She wanted Mom to know she was actually serious. So when the first session ended, Alli turned to Mom and said, "Mom, there's something very serious that I want to talk to you about." Mom said ok, and when Alli told her she wanted to serve a mission, mom just calmly looked at her and said, "Ok... What do we need to do?" She explained to the congregation that she is the youngest of 4 girls and we had never done this before, so they weren't quite sure where to start.

Since that day of General Conference, she has not wavered in her decision. She has not looked back. That week she made an appointment with her bishop, doctor appointments to get lots of shots, dentist appointments to have her wisdom teeth pulled, and she said she literally drove right from the oral surgeon's to the Stake President, with her mouth full of gauze, for her last interview. She filled out all her papers, turned them in and her mission call came just one month since the day she made her decision to go. It all happened so fast, that she said the hardest part, was just waiting to be able to go.

Then she got into the "bulk" of her talk. She chose to speak about loving one another. She talked about it being God's most important commandment. She said it was one that she has struggled with. She shared a story one of her BYU professors told her class one day. He said it was September 11th, the night the Twin Towers had fallen. He and his family were saying a prayer for the people and families who had been hurt or killed in the tragedy. When they finished, her professor's little daughter said, "But wait. We forgot to pray for the bad guys." Her professor was a little uncomfortable, but didn't want to squash his daughter's innocence. So he added to the prayer words like, "Please help the perpetrators to be caught and brought to justice." When he finished, his daughter said, "No. We need to ask Heavenly Father to bless the bad guys." Alli said that at that moment it would be easy to think, "Oh, poor, young and naive girl. You just don't do that." But it was that comment that helped her understand how much Christ loves each of us. No matter how bad we mess up. In the scriptures we are counseled to "be as little children," and this is the perfect example of that. Alli said, that if everyone could just love one another as unconditionally as Christ, and this little girl, then she is convinced that there would be no terror or problems in the world. It is a huge concept, yet so simple.

She bore her testimony and said she was very excited to serve the Lord and show the people of Sacramento her love. She said, "As cliche as this sound, 'No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.'"

Alli really gave an inspirational talk, and I feel so blessed to have gotten to hear it. Charles, unfortunately, was on a flight back from Springfield, MO for a graduate school interview, so he missed it. I asked my boys what their favorite part of her talk was, and they said, "Pray for the bad guys!" Surprise, surprise. At least I know they were listening. :)

After Sacrament meeting, we all went to Mom and Dad's house for a luncheon with everyone who came out to support Alli. Lots of family and friends filled the house. We ate sandwiches from Kneaders, chips, fruit, cookies, fudge and Divinity. Dad got creative and made a white chocolate fudge, and orange fudge to compliment the original chocolate fudge. The orange fudge was Jaden's favorite. It tasted just like an orange creamsicle. Kaleb kept creeping over to the chocolate fudge and sneaking his little hand up and over the counter to grab as much as he discreetly could. It reminded me of Ashton parties long, long ago, where I did the same thing with my Grandma's fudge. A kid after my own heart. :)

The lunch was nice. Everyone told Alli how much they loved hearing her speak and how they know she will be a great missionary. She also received a lot of advice and well wishes. Oh, and did I mention how pretty Alli looked? She was wearing the floral dress that you see in these pictures, along with the blue triple stranded necklace Julianne made, and the white flower in her long slightly curled hair that Kare and I made. And she looked genuinely happy. Usually these kinds of social gatherings make her uncomfortable, but she was sincerely happy and grateful to all those who came to support her. She smiled all day.

I'm sorry I didn't have my camera that day. No pictures from the farewell. :(

On Monday we came over to play and spend time with her and Tuesday she was set apart as a missionary. The Stake President and the Bishop came to Mom and Dad's house at 8:30 that night. We all got dressed in our Sunday clothes and took a few pictures before and after.






Jaden climbed up there and posed all by himself.


I love Kaleb's face in this one.


Playing one last game of catch or hide and seek with the boys.


Kaleb took this picture.


The rest were taken after the setting apart. Kaleb had zonked out and Charles was trying to change him out of his suit, but Kaleb kept on sleeping.


This is where Jaden crept off to hide in Mom's room so he could cry in private. After about 5 minutes or so, Alli went in to talk to him. They were in there for a while, I don't know what was said, I gave them their privacy.


When he came out he was red and puffy-eyed and just sat on Mom's lap and cried some more.


Alli is always the best at getting Bradley to make funny faces. I think those two really have a special bond. I love watching the two of them interact.




Here are the last hugs before we left, and she reported to the MTC the next morning. I can't look at them without tearing up.









We'll all miss her so much. But we are all so proud of her and happy for her too. Looking forward to July 2012!